Cheating in a relationship has many effects on a couple, but also the relationships the person cheated on pursues thereafter. Our Lifeworks counseling centers in Carrolton and Dallas, Texas work with couples and individuals who have been acutely or chronically been impacted by cheating. The healing process is different for an individual, and also there are different forms of cheating people experience.
When you have been a victim of cheating, do not expect to be completely “okay” and yourself right away. The pain you will experience in the moment of realization is one you should embrace and allow yourself to completely endure. Afterwards, when you find yourself in a new relationship, or even the same one, do not expect everything to be the same.
Being in a position where you have learned not to take trusting someone for granted will open you up to paranoia and, possibly, less fulfilling connections. We also do not advise that you hide or run away from the fact of the matter. Now, there is no need to make it your Facebook status, however, there is solace in accepting that someone you cared about deeply was unfaithful.
There will come a time when you may notice yourself keeping a mental checklist in which you may find yourself suspecting a partner of cheating because of X-Y-Z. In this situation, it is best to find ways to restart. Though it is important for personal survivor to not want to be cheated on again, but sometimes a person can be genuine in their efforts, and the only way for you to know is to give them a chance without the old checklist.
Learning from our mistakes is what makes us human. Unfortunately, that does not apply to cheating, because, no, it is not your fault, and it was not something you did. Rationalizing the reason why on your own is of no help because the person who cheated on you will have their own reasons. Deciding if the reasons are acceptable or not is not a task we recommend you take. Listening to the why and how may help you find closure, but it may also negatively and directly impact all your future relationships.
During therapy, your therapist will discuss with you how you feel about being cheated on and not why, unless you believe you may know a reason. Therapy is centered around understanding your behavioral responses to emotions and circumstances. When you make the decision to talk about a very sensitive topic with a stranger, it takes a lot of courage. One goal of therapy will be to help you find a way to accept and heal to continue having meaningful relationships.
When you are able to open your heart and mind to a relationship after being cheated on, it will be wonderful. Learning to trust someone and feeling secure makes you vulnerable to pain, but that should not deter you from finding the love and care you deserve and desire. Contact us today to speak with a counselor at Lifeworks who serve the communities of DFW, Dallas, and Frisco, Texas.