Being Single Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Also Be Happy
It can sometimes feel like being single is treated as some terrible condition that no one wants. The popularity of social media allows those in a couple to broadcast their relationships for the world to see, while also alienating those who are single. Many people see being single as a bad thing. While it is not always easy, it is still possible to be happy while single.
While being in a relationship can be great, it isn’t necessarily superior to being single. Even though you may want a relationship and a partner, you can still find happiness while being alone. Here are some tips to help you learn to be happy while single.
Learn from the Past but Don’t Let It Ruin Your Future.
There are plenty of people out there who are scarred from things they experienced in past relationships, making it difficult for them to find happiness again. So, what should you do if these painful moments are stopping you from trying to find love again?
First, you need to do everything you can to stop thinking about your ex. Unfollow them on all social media and stop talking about them with your friends. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends to stop you from talking about your ex to help you.
Next, avoid comparing any potential new partner with your ex. Your ex may be better in some areas than this new person, but they could be seriously lacking in some as well. What can help you is looking back at your past relationships and seeing what qualities you truly admired and those you didn’t. Also, look at what you think you did poorly. Learn from your mistakes, so you don’t repeat them.
Take This Time to Work on Yourself.
This might be the most important tip of them all. Take this time alone to reconnect with who you really are. Often people use being in a relationship as a way to escape from themselves. You take the focus away from yourself and put it on them.
Being single allows you to learn a lot about yourself. You get to discover new things about yourself and grow as a person. You can learn to love your own company, and after all, how can you truly love someone if you don’t love yourself?
You need to make yourself the person you would want to date. Improve on the qualities you feel you are lacking in. Then you will be able to love yourself the way you want to be loved by a partner.
Engage in Meaningful Activities.
Dr. Taitz states in her book, How to Be Single and Happy, “Researchers that study happiness are pretty clear that happiness is more about how you spend your time and [your mindset] than if you are in a relationship or not.” After all, many people in a relationship still feel lonely and depressed. She mentions that engaging in “meaningful activities, having social support, and practicing mindfulness” are all steps to finding happiness.
Partake in activities that you find exciting or enjoy. Does exercising make you happy? Do it! What about reading and writing? Make a habit of it. In the sense of mindfulness, be present in these moments. Enjoy what is happening. Do not let yourself be preoccupied with your worries and insecurities and just enjoy yourself the time you are having.
Pursue Your Life Goals Now
Too many people believe that they need a relationship to pursue many of their life goals, but why do you have to wait? What does being in a relationship change about your life to pursue these goals?
Whatever your goals may be, start working towards them. This includes large life goal, including having kids. While being a single parent is not easy, it may be worth exploring the options of becoming a parent like freezing your eggs or sperm, fostering, or adoption. If these goals are so important for you, just go ahead and start working toward them.
This may be the hardest step, but it might be the greatest. Learn the power of patience. It takes time for great things to happen. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Do not settle just to escape being alone. If you truly want something special, wait it out. Make sure that when you finally find someone, it is someone you truly want to be with and clicks with you. If not, you might find yourself in the same spot you started in.
It seems like many people have put a lot of stock in being in a relationship. While relationships are great, it does not mean that being single is a bad thing. You can still find happiness and improve yourself all while being single. Lifeworks Counseling Center is here to help you learn to be happy if you are single or in a relationship.