How to move on after a breakup

Break ups are emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically difficult. For many people, their partner becomes a center focus of their day to day life, so when that person leaves, their day to day life is significantly impacted. The first feeling you may feel is rejection, then anger or sadness or self-shame. There is a time in which these feelings come and go, it’s a natural healing process, however, if these feelings become overwhelming, then it may be a good idea to seek counseling.

Overcoming the codependency in the relationship is very important to find new perspective in your life. Entering a relationship opens you up with ideas and possibilities of a future, and when there is a break up a part of the grieving process is accepting that what you wanted to happen no longer may happen with that person. The initial feelings of rejection are related to feelings of self-worth and self-love. When you seek counseling, the therapeutic process will help you recognize and then accept the way you feel about yourself affects the way you relate to people in the world.

Taking a closer look at rejection and examining whether someone is a dumper or a dumpee in the break up process can help you understand why moving on is difficult for one partner more than the other. One may assume the dumpee feels worse than the dumper, but that is not always the case. Dumpers are partners who leave the relationship and they may feel considerable guilt, whereas dumpees are the partners who want to hang on to the relationship and may experience strong feelings of rejection.

Let’s take a step back, guilt and rejection are two sides of the same coin when it comes to emotions. Hence, the emotions for both parties are justified. With the help of a therapist, you can find the healthy balance in understanding these basic concepts via outside perspective. Though not an exact statistic, there is a small percentage of breakups that people identify as mutual. For these couples, both parties feel guilty and rejected at times.

Through therapy, you will learn to accept the fact that it’s okay to have emotional reactions to the ending of a relationship. You will learn to acknowledge that all relationships end due to breakup or death.  This may be a harsh reality, but it’s a fact. Regardless of the reason for separation from a loved one, you should work on self-love. Therapy will help you adopt a mindset of getting to know yourself better and better cultivate supportive relationships.

Feelings of despair can lead to a lack of self-esteem, which can negatively impact all aspects of your personal or professional life. Finding peace after your breakup may be extremely difficult, but reflecting on the good as well as the bad, and taking the time to work through your emotions helps you to heal and move forward. For compassionate and nonjudgmental support and guidance, contact our counseling centers in Dallas, Carrolton, DFW, or Frisco, Texas, contact us today at Lifeworks.