Relationships are difficult. Sometimes our relationships don’t work out because they were bad timing, because we weren’t ready, or because the other person wasn’t in a good space, etc. Whatever the reason, it is true and sad that some really special relationships come to an end. Getting back together with an ex is a difficult decision and it can be complicated. You have to remember that you broke up for a reason, and you shouldn’t let nostalgia and emotions cloud your better judgement if you know that reason remains. However, many couples do work things out and get back together and end up happy and in healthy relationships, so it is possible. There are of course certain stipulations to be considered and the approach you take will be a big deciding factor in terms of success. Whether or not this rekindling is possible for you and your ex is highly dependent on multiple subjective factors. Probably the most important thing you have to remember is to not let your emotions cloud your better judgement throughout this whole process. Before making the decision to get back together, you need to set aside some time to think. You should also set aside…
It is often difficult for us to see ourselves from an outside perspective. It is for this reason that sometimes we don’t realize how experiences from our childhood are affecting our adult relationships, and more often than not, affecting them negatively. The most common ways that childhood impacts our adult relationships is via the relationship that we had with our parents growing up. Whether it is trauma that we experience as a child or how our parents showed affection or didn’t, there is no denying that the correlation exists in regards to our adult relationships. To be more specific, how our caregivers act towards us as children carries over into the attachment style that we display in our adult relationships. Generally, people who have grown up in stable homes with happy and healthy childhood relationships with their caregivers develop secure-attachment styles. If your caregivers were emotionally available to you and responsive to your needs as a child then you will likely carry these healthy traits onwards into your adult relationships. Your attachment style will likely be balanced and you will not display clingy tendencies nor push others away. However, not everyone grows up in a healthy and happy home. So,…
Marriage counseling can be life-changing, but both partners must be committed in order for it to work. It is not uncommon for one spouse to want to go to counseling while the other one refuses to go or drags their feet. If this sounds all-too familiar, don’t worry – your marriage isn’t doomed just because your husband is refusing to go to therapy with you. There are a lot of reasons why men don’t want to go to counseling, including: They think you don’t need counseling and should be able to work things out behind closed doors They are fearful that the counselor will side with you They don’t want to admit anything is wrong with the marriage They think all of the marital problems you are having are your responsibility, not theirs They don’t want to acknowledge they can’t fix something or don’t know something They’ve never been to counseling before and are embarrassed First and foremost, it is important to understand that being fearful or anxious about going to counseling is completely normal. It can be strange to sit down with a seemingly stranger and immediately start talking about all the intimate details of your marriage – especially…
Marriage is perhaps the most rewarding, albeit challenging, things a person will ever do in their life. It takes work, time, and commitment to maintaining a healthy and long marriage, which can simply be too much for some. Over time, the initial feelings of excitement you had about that special someone and marriage, in general, will likely fade. One of the most important keys to a long marriage is to make sure both people are happy, healthy, and committed. There is certainly nothing wrong with settling into the routine of marriage, but it’s when things get a little too comfortable that problems may arise. Whether you’ve been married for one year, five, or 35, ensuring the flame of the relationship is still alive and well is imperative. If you and your significant other choose to have kids, giving your marriage the time and attention it deserves often takes a backseat. Not only are you focusing on your children, but being a parent can be exhausting and stressful. It can be easy to take this stress out on your partner, but this is not the way. Spending time with your spouse and working hard to keep communication lines open will prevent…
Dating can be an anxious experience, regardless of how experienced and confident you are. It’s safe to say we’ve all had different dating experiences, whether a handful of less serious relationships to a few serious long-term partnerships. The more we date, the more we learn about what makes a good partner, and what attributes are less than ideal. Numerous challenges and difficulties can arise when first building an intimate relationship with another person, which is only natural. We may have certain expectations about a person or relationship based on past relationships or our desires, but things don’t always pan out that way. Time and experience are both incredibly helpful in navigating us through new relationships, but this isn’t to say we can’t be caught off guard. Before entering into any relationship, it is important you know and love yourself. All too often we see relationships based on unhealthy viewpoints and ideals, which can be quite dangerous. It is easy to get caught up in another person and a new relationship, but this can lead to trouble with the wrong person. Before you throw caution to the wind and give your all to a new relationship, it’s important to take a…
Being in a relationship certainly has its ups, but when that relationship ends it can be absolutely devastating. One of the most difficult things a given person will go through in their life is moving on from a relationship that had lasted for many years. In most cases, you and your partner have combined various aspects of your lives, including your home, friends, family, finances, and pets. Detaching yourself from a person who has been a constant in your life can be extremely difficult. Many people equate ending a long-term relationship to losing a limb or feeling like your body is paralyzed. Even though this other person is still alive, it can feel like they are gone forever and your life will never be the same. That being said, chances are your relationship ended for a specific reason and letting go is the only way you are going to be able to move forward. Regardless of why the relationship ended, it is important to seek out healthy coping mechanisms. Ending a long-term relationship can be very similar to losing a loved one, which means there is oftentimes a grieving period. Please know that grief is a very common aspect of…
Abuse can be physical, mental, emotional, verbal, or sexual, and often a combination. And just because you aren’t being physically hit, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t a victim of abusive behavior. Words that cause mental and emotional anguish are also consistent with an abusive relationship, as is being with someone who is excessively jealous, or someone who is excessively controlling. One of the number one things a person who isn’t in, or who hasn’t been in an abusive relationship will inquire about in regards to someone who is, is why don’t you just leave the relationship? But, people who aren’t in the situation usually fail to understand what it is like, and how difficult it can be to just up and leave for the person that’s involved. So, why is it so difficult for someone in an abusive relationship to get out? Many times, in severe cases, it’s fear. Fear of the abuser, or fear of being alone. And it can be difficult for some people to understand, but many times, the person either doesn’t fully know or acknowledge consciously that they are in an abusive situation, or they are in denial and justify their partner’s abusive actions. This…
The problem with unhealthy relationships, is sometimes we are in them, and we don’t even realize it. We don’t even realize how much we are hurting; or that deep down we are constantly in a numbing state of pain. The thing we tend to forget, is what it’s like to be happy, or we forget or don’t realize that love isn’t supposed to feel this way. When you are with someone for a while, you can become quite desensitized to the unhealthy signs, and sometimes you may not even realize how truly unhappy you are. You tend to justify the unhappy feelings with how much you love them or how much they love you, or you justify the bad times with the “good” times. There are all different levels of unhealthy in relationships, from a lack of respect to abuse. But the most important thing, is to make sure you are not in a relationship where you are mentally or physically abused. Let’s take a look at some of the signs that you may be in an unhealthy relationship, and may be in need of relationship therapy in Carrolton… They try and control you If your partner often tries to…
Cheating in a relationship has many effects on a couple, but also the relationships the person cheated on pursues thereafter. Our Lifeworks counseling centers in Carrolton and Dallas, Texas work with couples and individuals who have been acutely or chronically been impacted by cheating. The healing process is different for an individual, and also there are different forms of cheating people experience. When you have been a victim of cheating, do not expect to be completely “okay” and yourself right away. The pain you will experience in the moment of realization is one you should embrace and allow yourself to completely endure. Afterwards, when you find yourself in a new relationship, or even the same one, do not expect everything to be the same. Being in a position where you have learned not to take trusting someone for granted will open you up to paranoia and, possibly, less fulfilling connections. We also do not advise that you hide or run away from the fact of the matter. Now, there is no need to make it your Facebook status, however, there is solace in accepting that someone you cared about deeply was unfaithful. There will come a time when you may…
Break ups are emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically difficult. For many people, their partner becomes a center focus of their day to day life, so when that person leaves, their day to day life is significantly impacted. The first feeling you may feel is rejection, then anger or sadness or self-shame. There is a time in which these feelings come and go, it’s a natural healing process, however, if these feelings become overwhelming, then it may be a good idea to seek counseling. Overcoming the codependency in the relationship is very important to find new perspective in your life. Entering a relationship opens you up with ideas and possibilities of a future, and when there is a break up a part of the grieving process is accepting that what you wanted to happen no longer may happen with that person. The initial feelings of rejection are related to feelings of self-worth and self-love. When you seek counseling, the therapeutic process will help you recognize and then accept the way you feel about yourself affects the way you relate to people in the world. Taking a closer look at rejection and examining whether someone is a dumper or a dumpee in…
